Beauty and the Beat

It seems like every little girl wants to grow up and become a Disney princess. While I personally had no desire (I wanted to be a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle), I can still appreciate the dreamy wonder that comes with wearing beautiful gowns and having a sweet prince come and rescue you from all your first-world problems.  Well, former American Idol contestant Todrick Hall has totally reinvented the classic intro to Beauty and the Beast in this hilarious parody “Beauty and the BEAT.”

It begins innocently enough. Belle exits her adorable home, basket in hand and ready to run her errands.  Except this time, instead of living in a quiet French town, she finds herself in a less than lovely situation.  As the Bougie Bell skips through the hood, she comes across all types of characters that have taken the place of the people she comes across in the opening of the Disney classic.  A crack head replaces the baker, and the three bimbettes are replaced by three jealous fashionistas with some BITE.  Gaston is still a slick, muscle man with a goofy sidekick but has traded in the knickers and boots for a white tank and stunner shades.  His sidekick sports a big dookie chain and still looks to be about two feet shorter than his comrade.  She stops by all the standard areas that make up your typical neighborhood in the city: the salon, the bodega, the public park… standard places.  She comes across loads of characters–including a cameo by one Antoine Dodson, heyyy!

While some people are throwing this video into the “Is this offensive?” file, I am deeming this a parody that was made in good fun.  Sure, there are several stereotypes associated with “the hood,” but when the mainstream media pummels it into our faces like it’s nothing, why are we suddenly offended at a well-crafted Youtube video?  It seems like it was all made in good fun, and at the end of the day, I just find it to be a well-written parody.

Lyrics for those interested after the jump!

Belle:
Little town, it’s a quiet village
Every day like the one before
Little town, full of little people
Waking up to say…

People of the Hood:
What’s good, What’s good, What’s good, What’s good
Get yo tail out the street

Belle:
There go Bonquesha she wit Trey like always
He’s on the downlow I can tell
Every morning just the same, since the morning that we came
To this busted ratchet town

CLEETUS:
Good morning Belle

Belle:
Good morning Cleetus.

CLEETUS:
Where you going?

Belle:
The weave shop! I just saw the most wonderful style; it’s an up-do with some finger waves and some micro braids….

CLEETUS:
That’s nice…Patrice, where my brownies, hurry up

IMAN:
Hey little mama can I get them digits
So I can hit you on yo cell, yo let me get it though

HATER GIRL:
Her beauty ain’t all that!

IMAN:
But her booty is real fat

IMAN/HATER GIRL:
No denyin’ she a boogie girl that Belle

STREET LADY:
What’s good?

KEITH:
What it do?

STREET LADY:
How is yo Mama ‘nem!

BELLE:
Bonjour

GLOZELL:
What You Call Me?

BELLE:
How is your wife?

HUNGRY LADY:
I need 6 legs

CHEAP LADY:
Uh-uh, that’s too expensive

BELLE:
There must be more than this old hood rat life!

LaWasha & LaDrya:
Look there she go, she think she got that good hair
Girl that’s a lace-front I can tell.

LaWasha:
Where she get that ugly dress?

Miles Jai:
Cause she look a crusty mess!

LaWasha & LaDrya:
Cause she really is a boogie girl that Belle! Mmm.

Belle:
Oh, isn’t this a hot mess
Who would name their first-born Blue Ivy?
Here’s Kim Kardash ‘n Kanye
Wonder if they’ll have a brand new show on BET?

Vonzell:
Well I had heard that she a chocolate chaser,
They say she like that caramel.

Shaqueeba:
She aint looking for no beast
Less he lookted like Tyrese

Random Mexican:
Very different from the rest of us

Vonzell & Shaqueeba:
Boo you ain’t like the rest of us

ALL:
Yes different from the rest of us is Belle

GUNSHOT!

Oh shit!

Jerome:
Right from the moment I had met you seent you
I said you bangin and I fell
Baby what’s it gonna be,
Tell me is you feelin me?
Cause I’m makin plans to leave my momma house.

Chicken Heads:
Look there he go, isn’t he awl that
My boo, Jerome…girl he so foine
Uh-uh, 4 real? Girl no he didn’t
If she can’t use yo’ comb don’t bring her home

Chaos Section:
Eh-Eh, Mmhmm, Uh-uh, Okrrr
Yo’ kitchen nappy…Girl hide yo kids
Sho nuff, Shawty, Okay, Aint nobody got time for that
Yo homie move!
Jamal, Jamel, Jaquan, Jaqual
My baby daddy (Child I don’t know, good mornting, Oh good mornting)

Belle:
There must be more than this old hoodrat life

Destorm:
If you got good credit, you can be my wife.

ALL:
Look there she go, she lookted so ridiculous
She thank she in a fury tale
Why she got her weave like that
Tell me where they do that at
She really is a boogie girl
A beauty but a boogie girl
She really is a boogie girl…….THAT BELLE

What’s good

What’s good

What’s good
What’s good

What’s good

What’s good

GLOZELL:
If you don’t get out the skreet oh I swear for God! uh uh!
Don’t make me take my shoe off!
Ooh get out a my way! Ugh!
Heffa