Counterfeiter Eats Fake Bills
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Let’s be honest here– food at an amusement park is NOT cheap. I’m ashamed to admit that I have, in fact, paid eight bucks for a slice of sub-par pizza. I mean, I guess I could pack a few index cards to snack on while walking around… what’s that? Eating paper IS NOT a normal meal? Well then, someone should probably let Larry Jones of Buffalo, NY know that…
On Sunday night, the 35-year-old Buffalo native was arrested at the Darien Lake Amusement Park for trying to use counterfeit cash to buy food. Jones was simply trying to order french fries; but instead of using real money, he handed over a counterfeit $50 bill. As soon as he handed over the funny money, an employee of the snack shack called the police to deal with the counterfeiter. Jones was accused of having $1,200 in fake fifties (that’s twenty-four bills for y’all who can’t math) and was taken in a security vehicle to the security trailer. Here’s where it gets kind of weird… and where we find out that paper is not an acceptable snack.
While en route to the security trailer, Jones stuffed five of the fake bills into his mouth and attempted to chew and swallow them. Man, that dude was REALLY HUNGRY… and trying to not get arrested (details, details..). The security guards managed to yank the chewed-up bills out of Jones’ mouth before they were swallowed or completely destroyed… good for them! Minus the part where they had to jam their fingers into the mouth of a counterfeiter… Yikes.
Jones ended up being charged with criminal possession of a forged instrument, as well as tampering with physical evidence. Both are considered felonies… and to think, the entire incident occurred after he was just trying to buy some fries with fake-o bills. Normally I’d question why the guy was using a fifty to buy fries; but if I had to guess, any amusement park’s fries are probably costing around an arm and a leg these days. Lord knows if they’re charging six bucks for a water, the food has got to be reaching hilariously high prices. Not that I’m on Jones’s side or anything…
