Dude Smells: Archer Air Superiority
Dudes. They don’t always live with a chick. In fact, some dudes prefer to keep their freedom and live alone or amongst other dudes for as long as possible. Let’s face it; the sooner they move in with their girlfriend, the sooner they’ll be exposed to Pintrest organization and decorating ideas and Sex and the City reruns. They know this. They usually fear this… as they should. It’s one thing to waltz into your home only to find that your living room is now decorated with Fleur-de-lis and pink accent pillows–whatever… just never invite anybody over… EVER. But there is one thing that can follow you out into the world beyond your girl-centric household: smells. Flowery, pretty, light, and airy smells that alert other dudes: I live with a chick. I smell like her. She has totally taken over my life. Help me.
Don’t stand for it! If you’re already trapped in the same living quarters as your lady… I’m not sure I can help you (God’s speed to you in the meantime); but for those of you still maintaining your own home, there is the perfect fix to making sure you don’t smell like you bathed in Victoria’s Secret Love Spell. Archer Air Superiority to the rescue!! They have a whole line of manly air fresheners that will make sure your home never reeks of femininity ever again. The manly aromas include “Hunting Lodge,” “European Sports Car,” and “Distillery.” Dude stuff. Yeah, DUDES! DONT LOSE YOUR MANLY SCENT!!
The “Hunting Lodge” smells like a mixture of hearth stone, gun powder, and damp timber. “European Sports Car” is noted to have tons of both worn leather and after shave. “Distillery,” on the other hand, will smell like charred oak, sour mash, and bourbon. DUDE SMELLS! They’re the opposite of lady smells! Alright, dudes! High five!
A can of this special dude-smelling air freshener will cost you about $14 a piece.. but you can also buy all three scents for a total of $42. I’d totally buy all three, empty every can, build a pillow fort, and stick a “NO GIRLS ALLOWED” sign on the entrance. But I’m not a dude, so I’m assuming I’ll burst into flames if I so much as TOUCH these cans… Oh well.