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Diaries of a Hair Challenge client

Or “My run in with a flat iron that resulted in a Costco size case of Neosporin”

I grew up wild running through woods for days. A lifetime later in the middle of glamorous Los Angeles, I still feel like I am touting a crown of honeysuckle and seaweed. I may have learned how to change spark plugs and make a great coq au vin, but hair has always been like Shackleton ditching the Endurance in the Arctic- uncharted territory. I would rather drink my own urine than face the long furry unidimensional dust mop on my head. It feels more comfortable to say it is the parsley on the plate on fish fry night than a part of my physical self.

Heavy with the scent of hint wafting from his being, my boyfriend got me a flat iron from one of his recent photo shoots. This felt a bit like buying your lady a vacuum for Valentine’s Day, but owning up to the rat crafted mousey brown nest I was sporting I had no ammo and decided to say ‘Thank you.’ I threw the instructions in the trash (standard protocol for any unknown appliance) and went to work. To some, this would be like playing the violin while Rome is burning, but I had to start somewhere.


As large chunks of my wet hair smoldered and sweated like Mike Tyson at a spelling bee, I dropped the iron several times only to burn my hands. Seriously? There has got to be an easier way (said the girl who threw away the directions). My scalp seared and a charred smell emitting from anywhere should have been a red flag….Several tubes of Neosporin and burnt frizzy 70 disco hair attempts later, I finally conceded to take my blistered digits over to my hair savvy neighbor’s house for a long overdue hair talk. Here is what I learned:

1) Never Flat Iron your hair moist, or wet or any deviation thereof.

2) Use a root lift product first while you blow dry your hair in sections first. Wait a few minutes to have you hair air dry before you expose it to the flat iron.

3) Section, Section Section- If you don’t section your hair, continent like sections of your hair will be overlooked, and your head will look like an inflated helmet/mullet.

4) Take your time and have patience. This was a tough one for me. My hair knowledge is very limited, but I try to have patience with myself as I learn new concepts.

Stylists? A little non threatening education would be amazing. While I admit, I shouldn't have tossed the directions, being approachable and offering a few of your professional tips could have saved me from chopped liver hands and studio 54 locks.

Stay tuned for more from the hair challenged client…